How to Look for the Good in Others
It’s not always easy. The other person is miserable. They don’t smile, they’re always negative, they seem to hate life and they treat people like garbage. There is no way there is anything good about them. But, you have to go and work with them every day, you have to volunteer with them at the local youth centre, you know they are your kid’s soccer coach and there is nothing you can do about it.
Many times in life, we are faced with people we can’t seem to click with. Instead of sitting around thinking about everything that is ‘wrong’ with them, why not try and find the good in them? Here’s a list of ideas to help you find the good in others.
1. Find something in common. Whether it’s having a child the same age, growing up in the same town or cheering for the same sports team, once you find a common ground, it will be much easier to talk to them. It may be small talk at first, but at least you are able to talk to them and keep your cool. Who knows, it may blossom into more than just a small conversation when you start to realize you have a lot more in common.
2. Put yourself in their shoes. Are they divorced, with three small children, work two jobs and are worried about the Christmas season that is fast approaching? Sometimes there’s more to the person than meets the eyes. Try asking them to go for a coffee and seeing if they just want an opportunity to get out. You never know what goes on in a person’s life when you aren’t around. Why not give them the benefit of the doubt and try and make a part of life a little bit brighter for them?
3. Be positive back. It doesn’t matter how negative someone is when they are around you, you don’t have to join in with them. Even though you find it hard to find something good about them, it’s still your choice to be a positive person and ignore the negative comments that are being shared. As you practice being more positive, you’ll slowly notice that the negativity will disappear. The negative person in your life will realize that you don’t agree and shortly give up on the attitude. Before you know it, they will be easier to be around and you won’t be trying to find something good about them after all.
4. Give them the benefit of the doubt. Sometimes people leave us with an awful first impression. Instead of assuming there is nothing good about them, go ahead and assume that they are just having a really bad day. Next time you meet up with them, forget about your first encounter and assume that they are better than that person you met the first day. You’d be surprised at how many people have not mastered the art of first impressions and deserve a second chance.
The tips about are just a few of the many things you can do to get past the thoughts of not liking someone and finding the good in them. Next time you find yourself stuck in a situation with someone you really don’t agree with, take a moment to reach out and find something that makes them appear good to you. There’s always something that is good about everyone, sometime you just have to work harder to find it.
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"Gary Gzik is a Corporate Trainer and CEO of the business consulting company BizXcel Inc. which owns and operates Getting to Someday, a place where people go to achieve their goals and dreams.
Gary also wrote "The Orange Popsicle - Six Influential Lessons that will Inspire You to Change Your Life" and "The Power of RE - Recreate Your Life from the Inside-Out".
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